Are You Abusive? This is an issue that many people do not wish to address. But, I feel it is beneficial to offer a section here that offers information on how to tell. If it is possible that there are those who arrive here who discover that they are being abused, it is also possible that there are those who may read this and discover that they have problematic behavior that could lead to abuse.
If you give advice or instruction and your partner refuses to follow it, do you find yourself becoming angry, physically and emotionally violent? Do you resort to name calling, insults, and other behavior that would demean your partner? Do you attempt to control every day decisions that your partner would make such as clothing, financial spending, food choices, friend associations, hobbies, and even the way they choose to think? Do you believe that you and your way of thinking is the only one that is right in your relationship? Have you ever struck your partner or continued to advance on or touch them sexually when they have asked you to stop? Do you often find that you have difficulty controlling your anger and your frustrations? Do you have difficulty showing support for and being patient with your partner? Are you uncomfortable of the independent activities of your partner in which you are not involved, such as friends, hobbies, etc? Have others made comments to you that your behavior is demeaning, aggressive, or harmful to your partner? Are you very critical of your partner, holding high expectations and becoming angry and hurtful when those expectations are not met? Have you ever damaged or destroyed property belonging to your partner? Do you avoid discussing your behavior, believing that there is not a problem? Do you blame your harmful behavior on drug use, alcohol use, or on the actions of your partner?
